Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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