I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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