Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize