She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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