I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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