I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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