just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
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