I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
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