I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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