Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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