I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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