Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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