I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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