singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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