dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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