Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize