i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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