my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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