and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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