I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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