I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
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She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
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It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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