He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
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dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
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You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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