well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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