The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Randomize