Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize