Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
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We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
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Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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