I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
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I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
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I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
My feet surprised me
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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