i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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