You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
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Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
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Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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