I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize