We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize