whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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