hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize