I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
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Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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