Your mouth is God's brothel.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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