I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize