Yo dont text me then not text me
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize