Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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