Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize