So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
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Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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