This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize