Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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