how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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