you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
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Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
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He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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