I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
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After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
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I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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