writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize