hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize