ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Randomize