He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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