Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize