i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize